One of the most spontaneous, profound and telling healing sessions I have had was with an alchemist.
We had been telling each other what we explore, and I thought that essentially, it is the same; he works with matter, I, with people.
He was showing me a device he had invented and built, a tool that helped aluminum evolve.
I asked him how it did this, and he said it was by softening how the metal was being observed.
Love, I thought. A device that brings love to aluminum.
Again, I told him that this is what, in a very general way, I do; look at people with softness, not judgment, not evaluation…love…and this helps them to evolve.
He asked if I wanted him to try it on me, his device, and I felt a surge of interest.
He directed me to stand, and looked at me through the device.
He asked me to extend my right arm to the side. And looked again. He told me there was “something” just beyond the reach of my hand. I felt a twinge of tightness in my hand, arm and chest. And I remembered I used to feel it when I was a young dancer, in my teens.
I said nothing.
He looked again and indicated that “it” was connected to another “something” on the left side of my upper chest. My eyes must have become like saucers.
I showed him the lump in my sternum where I had stress-fractured my rib during my treeplanting career.
It’s related he said.
I nodded, knowing.
I also mentioned I had been told the aortic valve in my heart is missing a cusp. We sat with that a moment. I confided in him that I was intending to regenerate the petal.
Are you ready? he asked. I was.
He directed me to stand with my right arm outstretched and my other hand over my heart.
Then came over and touched me over my left ovary. The one with the benign cyst on it.
Are you ready?
And came and touched my right foot where my middle toe meets my foot.
I took off my sock to show him this toe; it is shorter than the others, “Stubby”, I call it fondly.
Energy, emotions swelled in me, and I was compelled to go outside. I was not thinking, just moving. I went to a tree, and placed my bare foot on a root where it was going into the ground, and stood, clearing “something”.
I had just an inkling of understanding about what had happened, but it felt big.
Every physical “problem” that manifests in my body had been touched on.
In the months that followed, things happened, unfolded, like they do.
And just today, I was sitting contemplating some of the blocks, tension points, challenges I am facing today, and it occurred to me to wonder, what is it that I have been reaching for, that something beyond my right hand?
And instantly I new.
I have been reaching for doing. Masculine (right handed) action. Producing results.
And this has directly affected my heart. If my heart’s abnormality is rooted in genetics, or otherwise, this tendency is embodied in me. I perpetuated it as a high balling treeplanter… it broke the bone directly over my heart. In my teens, it showed up in my dancing.
The effects trickle down via meridians to my ovary, and on, to the base of my middle toe. A quick glance of a reflexology chart shows the relationships to my solar plexus, lung and eye, and into the trapezius muscles that would have pulled the bone out, and that still hold tension. All seen by an alchemist with a device designed to evolve matter.
My curiosity and need have led me to study things that all converge in this picture; filling out the pattern, through cause and effect. Where there have been blocks, there is dissonance… and this reaches back into the past through my DNA and family tree, and into the wider collective feminine.
But every dissonance is triggered by a choice that stems from misunderstanding, and is in disaccord with the divine design of creation.
How have I caused this? Where is my misunderstanding?
All here in front of me so clearly.
I am, as a woman, have been chosing to reach into the masculine way of doing, rather than existing within the feminine way of being.
This has created, perpetuated a misalignment with repercussions to my heart (my ability to love) , ovaries (my creative storehouse) , solar plexus (the place where my feelings about myself and my interpretation of the feelings of others toward me manifests), eyes (my clarity of seeing), lung (where I take in Spirit)….
Although I am a single mother and responsible for the income of my family, I am realizing more and more deeply that it is the feminine way of being that inspires the masculine energy of doing, and the production of results.
For me to heal my heart, my ovarian cyst, and free the block that caused my toe’s growth to be stunted, all I need is to put being before doing, rather than the other way around.
Trusting that any results that need to be produced will be thus inspired.