It is authentic of me to embody the feminine aspects of the divine, primarily. This does not mean I do not embody masculine divinity…in fact, I am very aware of the call to embody masculine qualities more fully in my life and being.
What do I mean by this?
I began a more conscious exploration of the masculine/feminine dichotomy after experiencing awful imbalance and excruciating hurt in my relationship with the man whom I had vowed to love unconditionally and to help toward self realization. It was not working between us.
Why? I asked my self. What was I believing/thinking/doing…to contribute to this unworkability?
I asked for the help I needed, and the Universe provided me access to the teaching of Allison Armstrong, through her organization, PAX.
Through these courses I gained a more clear understanding of the masculine as the energy behind providing, protecting and procreating; and the feminine as the receptive space for the masculine’s offerings.
I realize more fully now that my beauty, receptivity, sensitivity and my authentic, compassionate self expression are the primary ways of being which call forth the divine masculine in my life.
This clearly manifests in my relationships with men and boys.
I learned that I must hold my feminine space powerfully, and ABOVE ALL, I must trust and appreciate the men in my life as they embody masculine power…strong, focussed, logical, problem-solving energy which, if I am not aware, can feel scary to me.
I learned that as a woman, I embody feminine ways, and I have a natural tendency to assume that males think like I do…but I am very often wrong. Since the masculine is about logical, problem solving…there are many ways in which men (and sometimes women who are in masculine mode)…SEEM to be doing and saying things that, if they were women, would be hurtful.
An example of this?
A huge issue with the man to whom I was avowed was how he helped me when I was upset. As a problem solver, he wanted to get to the root of why I was upset, and fix it. He asked questions and gave his perspective on what was wrong.
As a women, I heard and saw him in these cases as a “hairy man” (as Allison likes to say). My perspective was that if I was listening to another woman who was upset, I would understand that she needed to be heard, to have her feelings and thoughts validated and repeated back to her so she could hear them better herself. I understood that if I problem solved, it would sound to her as if I thought she was weak or stupid, and not capable of figuring things out for herself.
Since I understood this so clearly, and assumed he knew this too, I sincerely thought he was choosing to go against “his” understanding, and intentionally hurt me…he was not just a hairy man, but he was willingly “misbehaving”.
It hurt so much! I would lash out and the issues I was upset about receded into the background and the arguments began about how he didn’t care and couldn’t possibly mean it when he said he loved me. And there were many other examples.
But it was a simple misunderstanding, on both our parts.
If he had known, I trust he would have wanted to learn how to respond differently. He was a good man.
A masculine man, wanting to help.
PAX gave me tools to communicate differently with men, to take into account their nature, to understand and allow for them to be masculine…to be MEN.
Learning this didn’t mean that my avowed and I stayed together. We parted ways, and how I understand this is touched on in my piece about juxtaposition.
As this learning process unfolds, I am also discovering the masculine part of my self, the part that wants to protect and provide for my feminine essence, and co-create, with “her” for the mutual benefit of all.
I need this masculine side. I need to think logically and to focus and problem solve, to come up with answers, to analyze and find new ways of working. Without this support, my feminine side is mush, and ineffective.
Within myself and between me and the men in my life, the potential for creative partnership has become THE THING I am most excited about.
As I shine my light, my talents, my beauty, my divine feminine presence…it activates the masculine aspects of men and women, inspiring higher forms of problem solving, more beneficial and true forms of providing and more pure ways of creating. As I value my femininity more deeply, I provide and protect myself more clearly.
When we, equipped with language and tools that cultivate partnership, dance the dance of embodied Divinity, we create Heaven on Earth.
I invite you to consider how you embody Divinity. Does it feel more authentic when the masculine or the feminine is in the fore? Do you have judgements as to the qualities of one or the other? Where might there be room for deeper understanding? How might you shift to allow for more full and co-operative partnership between your self and those who physically embody the other gender? What hurt might you need to clear in order to do so?
Here is a link to Alison Armstrong/PAX.
Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you feel you need to be provided with information or inspiration to help you on your upward spiralling path to unity.