Tag Archives: relationship

Emotional Mastery: what it IS and what it is NOT.

The word “mastery” is used in a variety of contexts and some of them do not fit with what I am forwarding as “mastery”, within the context of Emotional Mastery, but they do illuminate some of the most unhelpful misunderstandings about emotions rampant in our culture.

When “mastery” of any kind includes a lesser one, a servant, or has to do with control or manipulation for the one in power’s benefit, to the detriment of the one in less power…this is NOT the kind of Mastery of which I speak.

But often this is what IS done with emotions; they are used to gain power over others, to further agendas without regard for another/others…sometimes even without OWN self.

When emotions are corked, bypassed or denied, the self actively corking, bypassing or denying is the first to suffer (whether or not they are feeling it or aware at the time), and that suffering is passed on to those close; this is inevitable. Even when we exert effort because we wish NOT to pass on hurt, the effect is passed on in some way; as long as emotions are stuck, separation is perpetuated, and old patterns continue. States of low confidence, distance in relationship, dis-ease of all forms remains and worsens.

True Emotional Mastery, which I have been developing in my self, which I practice and share, is a new way of navigating with emotion, through awareness, responsibility, and the intention for none to become newly hurt. Stuck emotions from the past are opened to, cleared, allowed to have their time. Integration of what was separate occurs. Patterns thus change. This change is inevitable, once the emotions can move.

A beautiful analogy comes to mind: that of Martial Arts. A martial arts student may come to his (switch pronouns for female option) training with the intention of winning, having power over, without care about hurting others, seeing them as opponents…he may even come with a purpose to develop the power to hurt, dominate, kill.

But true Mastery in martial arts is about awareness, precision; the use of senses and skill to read the environment and move in time and space just so. The practitioner develops sensitivity, discernment,  strength and flexibility, and puts them to use with the intention of NO ONE becoming unduly hurt. As experience comes, it is used as material by which to gain wisdom, skill, perspective.

Mastery stemming from the self, for peace, harmony and progress which leave no one in a position of lesser power or value, but which promotes a world in which we all thrive, create and live according to our most vital terms, to a ripe ole age…is true Mastery.

This is what I mean when I talk about Emotional Mastery.


Right Juxtaposition

We are one. But we are not the same. We are each a unique expression of a specific part of the whole. The whole is everything.

When we are each in our right place, the whole works; it is incredibly beautiful, it feels incredibly right.

We are each, I observe, driven to find our place, relative to each other, relative to each part.

In our place, we are each the sovereign.

Our place is our jurisdiction; this is where we are to exercise our Free Will.

We are each in our body; the first increment of our space.

Though some, I have been given to understand, feel their body is not an accurate manifestation of their place. Its gender is not theirs. I can only imagine what angst this might cause, I who have felt at home in my body.

My body can be a very loud indicator as to whether I was living in my space…or not. If I am not noticing my body, the whole reflects my accuracy or lack thereof. The messages come in such a variety of ways, becoming louder and louder in order to catch my attention.

We are each born into a family. This may or may not at first inspection appear to be an accurate manifestation of our place.

But if it is not, could it be that it is thus designed to help us better determine our right juxtaposition?

What qualities, working together, are manifestations of our right partners?

What part of the world resonates as right?

What foods? What activities?

What forms of movement, modes of expression, style of attire…suit our sovereign self?

This life seems to me to be a process of ever deeper self discovery, in order to know who we are, in order to discover where we fit, in right juxtaposition to one another.

This adventure, insofar as romantic partnership is concerned, speaks especially loud and clear me, and I notice how many others are focused on this.

How sensible this is!

If we are to know ourselves, and properly ascertain that another is a suitable partner for us, how much more clear this will make things and how much easier it will become to evaluate our place-markers, based on two points of reference!

And when we choose a partner, and live thus for a while, what does NOT suit becomes so clear, and our minds turn so naturally to what might be better. And if we free ourselves (and them) to further evolve and explore…what a service we provide!

For when I take steps toward my true place, I help make it more clear to others where their true place might be, relative to me, to mine.

We recognize, I believe, the truth of a place by how it feels to us. In degrees of freedom we find our way. As clarity unfolds, what felt free might shift as we move through the layers of being, to sense the resonance with our core.

It is my highest service to my self and to others, to the collective whole (which I might call God), to find myself, to determine my place; to hold my space clearly in regard to others, and to allow and invite others to do the same.