Tag Archives: the rise of the divine masculine

Emotional Mastery: what it IS and what it is NOT.

The word “mastery” is used in a variety of contexts and some of them do not fit with what I am forwarding as “mastery”, within the context of Emotional Mastery, but they do illuminate some of the most unhelpful misunderstandings about emotions rampant in our culture.

When “mastery” of any kind includes a lesser one, a servant, or has to do with control or manipulation for the one in power’s benefit, to the detriment of the one in less power…this is NOT the kind of Mastery of which I speak.

But often this is what IS done with emotions; they are used to gain power over others, to further agendas without regard for another/others…sometimes even without OWN self.

When emotions are corked, bypassed or denied, the self actively corking, bypassing or denying is the first to suffer (whether or not they are feeling it or aware at the time), and that suffering is passed on to those close; this is inevitable. Even when we exert effort because we wish NOT to pass on hurt, the effect is passed on in some way; as long as emotions are stuck, separation is perpetuated, and old patterns continue. States of low confidence, distance in relationship, dis-ease of all forms remains and worsens.

True Emotional Mastery, which I have been developing in my self, which I practice and share, is a new way of navigating with emotion, through awareness, responsibility, and the intention for none to become newly hurt. Stuck emotions from the past are opened to, cleared, allowed to have their time. Integration of what was separate occurs. Patterns thus change. This change is inevitable, once the emotions can move.

A beautiful analogy comes to mind: that of Martial Arts. A martial arts student may come to his (switch pronouns for female option) training with the intention of winning, having power over, without care about hurting others, seeing them as opponents…he may even come with a purpose to develop the power to hurt, dominate, kill.

But true Mastery in martial arts is about awareness, precision; the use of senses and skill to read the environment and move in time and space just so. The practitioner develops sensitivity, discernment,  strength and flexibility, and puts them to use with the intention of NO ONE becoming unduly hurt. As experience comes, it is used as material by which to gain wisdom, skill, perspective.

Mastery stemming from the self, for peace, harmony and progress which leave no one in a position of lesser power or value, but which promotes a world in which we all thrive, create and live according to our most vital terms, to a ripe ole age…is true Mastery.

This is what I mean when I talk about Emotional Mastery.

 

A Letter to My siStars…

My men, my brothers, sons and godfathers, I wanted you to know I wrote this to my siStars on your behalf.

I heard they were frustrated in looking for you, not finding you.  I heard judgement and resentment that made my heart ache.

I am so sorry they misunderstand so much about you.

I am so sorry they hold back and harden up.

 

I will be working with more of them soon.

 

For you.

 

 

Dear Awakened and Awakening siStars,

 

I want you to know…I work with awakened and awakening men.

I get to see them unarmoured.

The men I work with are working so hard to being and ever more becoming the conscious men conscious women need.

They are struggling. They are sorting through eons worth of tangled beliefs, pains, fears, confusion, false beliefs…the dysfunctional patterning entrenched within them and our world.

In their efforts they have failed and failed again to be more what they need to be and they can barely stand it.

But they get up over and over to try again.

They tell me, when I gain their trust, how desperately they need soft places to land, eyes that see them and allow for all they are, ears that will listen til their own voices find what’s been buried deep inside.

They need voices that speak only when there is quiet to convey faith, admiration, appreciation and encouragement.

Some of them have found this in pure spirit. Some have a siStar or Mother who provides this.

We need not give of ourselves in ways that do not work for us.

But please let us consider how we might shine for the men who are, by their own admission (when they are safe to admit it) not perfectly ready to be exactly what we need …yet.

They want so much to be…they struggle to *get* what it takes, to change what must change to make it all work.

Our mixed messages and cold distances confuse and perplex them.

As I work with them I see how far I still have to go.

I see how much more clear and compassionate I can become, how much is yet unresolved within my own self.

We are in this frustration together.

I just wanted you to know…the men are working on it.

For you.

Conversation With a Man About Subtle Man Bashing

 

“Domestic violence wasn’t seen as a serious crime until the 1970s. So, did we, in the last 40 years, address the beliefs that cause domestic violence? No. But now if you beat your wife you’re usually considered to be a bad guy. So what do you do, with all the beliefs that would lead you to violence, if violence is no longer an acceptable option? You use manipulation, and you use gaslighting.”

Hi Nicole, the above is a quote from that gaslighting article. The author uses the words “domestic violence” twice to start off which is neutral as domestic violence is not gender specific . But then she says “but now if you beat your wife” which gives off the impression to anyone reading that domestic violence never happens the other way around. In other words, seeing the world through a “men as perpetrator/ women as victims” lens.

It gives off the impression that most men in the past controlled their wives through violence and only after it was taken more seriously that they were forced to use other means like gaslighting. As if the average man believed that violence against their loved ones was an acceptable thing to do. It’s pretty clear to me she believes in patriarchy theory and has been influenced by feminism as they have been perpetuating these myths forever!

Thank you for allowing me to share. Again I want to say a big thank you for all the work you have been doing and the love and support you show to everyone including men! I’m sure you have noticed that it can be hard for men to stand up for themselves and speak out regarding women as they often end up being accused of misogyny. This is why it is nice to see a lot of women starting to speak up for men and boys who are struggling in this world because they can’t just be dismissed as “woman haters.”

 

I wrote back:

 

I so appreciate when people go under the layers of what looks obvious to find what else is there.

 

I am SO with you on “As if the average man believed that violence against their loved ones was an acceptable thing to do.” I agree that men, in general, want to treat their loved ones as the gold they know they are…and I think that when they don’t, their actions stem from a tangled, complex, multi-layered understory. I think that deep down, they are innocent…just like the women that get hit, the kids that cry, the other men that get hurt….We are all innocent. We are all blameless. And we are all responsible.

 

I think that pressure on men is underrated. They hold up so well. They keep on keeping on. As a “rule” they are “good” at taking care of their basic needs: they eat when they are hungry, sleep when they are tired…and this sometimes makes them look “selfish”. (Especially to women, who tend to take care of others first, and put off eating, sleeping, til they are famished or exhausted). Men focus on their work, and then get blamed for ignoring everything else. But they DO their work for “everyone else”…and do not get much thanks.

 

All the examples in that paragraph above are about our “lower” selves…our instincts and default ways of being.

 

They do not directly* serve the soul, they do not serve partnership, they do not serve Heaven on Earth. And they do not serve men.

 

But somehow our culture has got the idea that men are “better off”. I don’t agree. I don’t think ANYONE is better off. For every statistic…say, using your example…domestic abuse…yes, the numbers show that more men hit women. AND…more men commit suicide. Many women get cancer of the reproductive organs…and many men get heart disease and strokes.

 

The game of “who is worse off” is a compelling one, because there are SO MANY LOSERS everywhere…I mean so many tragic examples of people who got a shitty deal.

 

But I think it is men who most often “lose” the “who wins at losing” game…because: “privilege”. But no one talks as much about how men are disadvantaged.

 

And guess what, I don’t want to talk about it either…really…we could talk all day, arguing either side.

 

I want to see it change. And I want to help change it.

 

I want men to be and feel seen, heard, understood, cared about, helped, admired, thanked and celebrated.

 

I want to see everyone being regarded with respect and love…I just happen to be the kind of girl who especially want this for men. There are tons of other people out there who want it for women, animals, even aliens. And I say GO FOR IT!!

 

And I turn to men.

 

I want to know their stories, their traumas, their secrets. I want to know, so I can shine light and love in those dark corners and help them remember who they REALLY are. And I want to watch them energize, power up, get down to doing all the things they have a passion for…and find their own special something that only they have…and put it to work in the world. For everyone’s sake.

 

I think every man has the raw material to be a hero. I want to help him find, empower and LIVE that hero’s way. To epic proportions.

 

Why not, I think…WHY NOT.

 

 

*directly*…heh, this is interesting…I think our instincts, our lower selves indirectly serve the soul. We live according to these lower impulses…and they get us into situations where…we suffer! That suffering…eventually, when we have finally had enough…gives us the motivation to CHANGE. Thus, indirectly, our soul comes to be served… and partnership becomes possible…Heaven on Earth becomes possible.

 

Another footnote. You wrote, “This is why it is nice to see a lot of women starting to speak up for men and boys who are struggling in this world because they can’t just be dismissed as “woman haters.””

Sadly, women who stand up for men can and are accused of hating women. Of being gender over-emphasising, of being “behind the times”. So your support of MY support is precious to me, too. We are, I think, truly all in this together. I do all I can to love and understand and have compassion for haters. I would hate to be one.

 

 

the rise of the divine man

As women are called forth to heal, learn, rise, so, too are men.

Yet there are far less resources on bookshelves and in training centres for men.  It’s a little like shopping for clothes, right?!

It is an honour and a joy to find myself in service to men.

Why men?  Because I love men.  Their focus, their drive, their strategizing; their honour, strength and precise minds.  I love how they adventure and compete, how they team up and get shit done.

I’ve never been one to join the ranks of women who work like men. I honestly prefer to support from behind the scenes, or inspire from the stage or spotlight.

I have a passion for setting up men to win, especially to win with women; at home, at work and everywhere.  For people to win with each other, beyond gender, in fact, which I think is the next wave of exciting learning just swelling.  But first, we need to understand masculine men and feminine women a bit better; to provide the contrast that will help us when we get into the grey areas.

Today’s men watch women perform, sometimes, without knowing how they fit in.  Doors held open or not? Offer to carry that heavy box or not? Pay for dinner or not?

You have watched women get harder, higher, more powerful…but maybe you have a feeling that something is being left behind? Lost?

I hope you do.  Indeed if you do, I may be here for YOU.

As boys, many of you went without a very mothering mother.  Perhaps she was at work, or maybe at school so she could get work…?  And maybe you went without a very fathersome father. Perhaps he was even fearsome.

Divorce rates were on the rise, and family life got a little (to a lot) complicated over these last couple decades.  Consumerism, coupled with the shifting of “community living,” meant… more scheduled games and less pick-up, more play dates and less calling on friends, more video games and less kick the can, less passing notes and more…dick pics.

Then, adulthood. From what I have heard from men, the pressure to look like you have “it” all together is great, and to look like you are on top of “it” is as great as for women.  But many of you are thinking, “what the fuck is it to BE a man?” and “how the hell….?!”

I can’t pretend I know what, or how.  I am, after all, a woman.  But something I do know is…it is IN YOU. And I, from what I have seen and heard from men, can help you bring it out.  I’m not all that clear how I do that.  Some men tell me it’s that I am feminine, and smart.  Some speak of authenticity, safety, space to be. Some have no idea, and no words.

What I know beyond any shadow of doubt is that the women and children of the world need YOU, men, to rise.  To evolve, to awaken, and to be powerful…in ways that work.  We need you as partners, as brothers and lovers, to build, with us, for us, a new world. Some of us get it, some of us don’t, but ALL of us need what YOU have to PROVIDE.

Let’s learn together, grow, heal, expand.

It will be awesome.

Today I Met a King

I have found a way to love, Love, LOVE Stampede here in Calgary, AB.

Free Hugs.  Giving them on street corners on Stampede Saturdays.

That’s what I did today.  I was the last hugger standing.  I was in for something amazing.

The last man I hugged was covered in drywall plaster, a drunk – but not belligerent – French Canadian.  He was hungry for hugs.

He had one, and a few moments later, asked for another.  I gave it with grace. He asked again … and again.  I moved on.  He sat down for a bit, shaking his head and looking touched.

After watching me a while, he came over to me again, when there was a lull in the hug takers.  He thanked me for doing what I was doing.  He said it did him good.  I said, “you are welcome.”  And took a good look at his eyes.  He took a sudden breath in and put his hand on his heart.

“It hurts?”  I asked. He nodded.

And opened his arms for another hug.  Given.

“I work so hard he said.  And then I drink too much.”

“I’m so glad.” I said “… that you know this”.

He paused.  Held out his hand as if for a handshake.  I took it.  He lifted my hand and kissed it.  I thanked him.  He breathed in sharp again.

He looked at me.  I smiled at him.

“I’m a good man,” he told me.

“I know.” I said.  “You are a king”.

He breathed in very hard this time and tears started to run down his cheeks.  “My name, he said, “is Nolan.  Nolan King.  How did you know?”

“I had no idea.” I said.  “What your name was.”

He opened his arms and I hugged him again, more like a mother hugs a child.  He sobbed.

A while ago I could not have stood there with a sobbing, slightly drunk man in my arms on a busy street.

I am so glad that today, I could.

When he was done, he stepped back and looked at me.  “Your eyes are like an angels,” he said.

“Wow.”  I said. “What a wonderful compliment…THANK YOU!”

He shook his head.  “You are thanking ME?”

“Yes.” I said, and, because I was, “I am so glad I met you.”

His hand on his heart again, he said, “my heart feels so sparkly.”

“I’m glad.” I said.  “Take care of it, okay.  Get your crown back on your head, okay?  Stand tall.  You are a King … and your people need you.”

He cried some more.  We hugged some more.  Time was standing still.

I felt something shift.

“I’m going to go now,” I told him.  He nodded and we hugged one more time.  “Merci,” he whispered.  “Bienvenue,” I whispered. “A dieu.”

And I let go, and walked.  Free hugging was done.  I wondered at it.

Knowing I could not have done it a while ago.

Because a while ago I carried too much hurt my self.  A while ago I might have been too self conscious about what others think of me to have stayed the course. A while ago I might have taken pride for hugging a soul in need.  And that kind of pride would have changed things.

I am so glad I could do it.  So glad.  He needed it so much.  I trust he shed some sadness for good…I saw it running down his weathered cheeks.

I trust he will never have to shed those same tears again.  I realize there are likely more tears under that layer…and I hope, I pray, I insist … that he will find someone to bear witness to them, when the time comes.

I am not anyone special. I think we can all do – for each other – what I had the chance to do for Nolan King.  If we have shed enough of our own hurt, the love, compassion, intuitive knowing – of what a person needs – is there, underneath, and we are happy, so happy, to let it flow.

Sometimes I need someone to do this for me … hold space, reflect my self back to me … “It hurts coming out, doesn’t it? … I see your goodness … I see your divinity”.

And the tears course down my cheeks.  Opening the way for my goodness, my divinity, to shine forth for the sake of others.

Peace be with you Nolan King.

Peace be with you King Nolan.

Happy Stampede.